restart
by gyoomie
Summary: "You can't stay here." — even at the bottom of the recycle bin, there's still the restore button. implied lenrin.


**[ note ]** so i meant to post this before _denial_ to clear off all assignment-related fics first, but as y'all can see (will smith pose) that didn't really happen bc i'm an impatient lil shit lmao

a story about coming to terms with self-blame, accepting support when you need it the most, and learning to get back up.

 **general tw** for emotionally-heavy themes.

* * *

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 **restart**

 _(now carrying these memories which pain me with a smile  
i walk away from yesterday to our fated goodbye)_

.

.

.

 _Are you sure you want to move "GUMI .exe" to the Recycle Bin?_

 _‣_ _Yes  
No_

.

.

Time ceases to exist in this realm of deleted items and corrupted files.

Len doesn't know how long he's been sitting here like this, with his knees tucked against his chest and his eyes dark like overcast skies, and he doesn't care to know.

From the moment he'd materialised at the bottom of the Recycle Bin, he's only had one objective in mind: to see Rin again.

.

 _What a beautiful voice, Len mused, peering into the editing software to observe the CRYPTON newcomer. She was a pretty little thing, with glittering blue eyes and a smile that could rival the stars; Master was composing a lovely piano piece that complemented her vocals perfectly._

 _He closed his eyes, allowing the music to overwhelm his senses as he marvelled at the clear, sweet quality of her voice. There was something distinctly warm about the song, reminding him of how a cosy fireplace in the middle of winter must feel like, and –_

 _Ah. The singing stopped._

 _Len opened his eyes, startling a bit when he realised that the newcomer was looking over in his direction – in fact, she was probably staring right at him. Whoops._

 _Before he could slink away in shame, he heard someone shout:_

" _Hey, don't be a stranger!"_

 _He chanced a glance over his shoulder, blinking rapidly in confusion when the newcomer merely offered him a crooked little grin._

" _My name's Rin – come sing with me, won't you?"_

.

Far off into the distance, he can hear someone calling his name over and over, muffled in volume but loud in urgency. They sound vaguely familiar – perhaps he knows this person – but he can't quite pinpoint where exactly he's heard this voice before.

" _Len? Len, can you hear me? Len!"_

Not that it matters.

" _Len, please..."_

He's waiting for Rin to come for him, and he'll continue to wait here for as long as it takes until he can see her again.

" _Where are you, Le – "_

.

" – _en-Len!"_

 _Len barely had the time to turn around before Rin came barrelling into him at top speed, the sound of faint laughter ringing out somewhere behind him. "Woah there," he laughed, wrapping an arm around her waist to steady them both. "What's the hurry, Rin?"_

 _The smaller girl looked up at him with shining eyes. "I never wanna waste any time when it comes to you," she chirped, bright and earnest. "You're my most precious person, after all!"_

" _Mm, well..." Len chuckled, leaning in to ruffle her hair with no small amount of affection. "You're my most precious person too." He gently untangled himself from Rin soon after, making a beeline towards Master's Document folders instead._

" _Now, come on, we've got some files to hijack for April Fools'!"_

" _Wha – hey, no fair! Wait for me, Len-Le – "_

.

" – _en!"_

Len gasps, snapping out of his reverie. He jerks back in shock as a willowy figure suddenly stumbles to a stop before him, doubling over in exhaustion and panting like they'd just suffered through one hell of a marathon.

"Len," they wheeze, and instantly he recognises their voice: it's the same person who's been calling his name for a while now. "Thank goodness I found you in time..."

He frowns. "Who are you?" he asks, not in the mood for pleasantries.

"You don't recognise me? Jeez." The figure straightens up, pushing their short green hair out of their face in mild annoyance. "I'm Gumi. Y'know, from INTERNET CO.?"

"Oh."

INTERNET CO. is the name of the other voice-bank brand that Master uses for his songs – but not as often as CRYPTON, though. The two brands do have a friendly sort of rivalry between them, but Len's never really paid much attention to it.

Gumi rolls her eyes, clearly withholding some snarky comments about his non-committal response. "Forget it. Look, Len, everyone's been worried sick about you. We've gotta head back, before – "

"No."

She stops. Regards him with a quiet burn in her gaze. "Don't be ridiculous," she says evenly. "You can't stay here."

"I can," Len says, just as evenly. "And I will."

Gumi inhales sharply, scrunching up her whole face and pinching the bridge of her nose. Good, she's irritated, Len thinks distantly. Perhaps she'll take the hint and leave him alone to disappear.

The rest of the voice-banks have long since left him, anyway.

.

" _You know... you can come and talk to me, right?" Kaito coughed, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. Len didn't blame him – Miku had already been sent running off in tears because of him earlier. "I'm always open for bro-to-heart chats. No, wait, that's not right, uh – heart-to-bro? Bro-to-bro?"_

 _Meiko slapped a hand over her face and turned to Len with a weary smile. "I hope you get what he means, Len. Anyway – feel free to talk to us about anything, okay, sweetie?"_

 _Len didn't even bother to look up at them; he'd decided that picking listlessly at the stray PNG file near his feet was far better than seeing the pity in their eyes. "Mm."_

" _... Alright."_

 _Kaito and Meiko traded worried glances with each other as they left._

.

"I'm not leaving without you, goddammit, and that's final," Gumi hisses through gritted teeth. They've been having the same passive-aggressive argument for a while now, and it's going nowhere real fast.

But she's definitely a lot more stubborn than he'd initially given her credit for, Len observes with dark humour.

"That's fine, you can stay if that's what makes you happy," he says, lifting and dropping his shoulder in a lazy imitation of a shrug. "I'm staying here to wait for Rin."

It seems that Gumi has finally reached her boiling point: she explodes.

"WHY ARE YOU SO STUBBORN?" she roars. The girl grabs him by the shirt and pulls him so close to her that they bump foreheads. "We don't have any more time to waste, you dumb sack of shit – don't you know what'll happen if we stay in the Recycle Bin for too long?"

"Of course I know!" Len snarls back. His grief-induced apathy has mostly given way to fire-spitting rage, having not taken too lightly to being insulted. "I know what I'm getting into, Gumi, so just _go away_ , okay? _I'M NOT LEAVING._ "

"Why?" Gumi demands. "Why don't you wanna leave? _What's so important that you'd rather risk being permanently deleted than to leave?_ "

"Like I've said so many times before, _I'm waiting for Rin_ – !"

"RIN IS _GONE_ , LEN!"

Len freezes in place, staring at the green-haired girl like a deer in the headlights. No, no, he's waiting for Rin. She's going to come for him no matter what, because they're each other's most precious person, and they're going to be alright. They're going to be alright.

Gumi breathes shakily. Her eyes are wet, but she continues to hold his gaze, steady and honest.

"Rin is gone."

.

 _Somewhere along the line, Rin had stopped singing._

 _At first she'd laughed it off, reassuring everyone that she was just having a couple of off-days, no big deal, she'd be back on track to make music with Master in no time – but the haunted look in her eyes said otherwise, and no one noticed until it was far too late._

 _Days stretched to weeks, weeks extended to months – Rin still didn't sing. Not a single note._

" _Rin?" Len called, growing increasingly worried as he passed by folder after folder with no sign of the girl. He knew she'd been awfully quiet and sad recently, but he didn't really know what to do or say to make her feel better._

 _He just hoped she'd get over it soon on her own._

" _Rin... where are you...?"_

 _Eventually he did manage to spot her in the distance – but his relief turned ice-cold in his gut when he noticed she was sitting on the edge of a corrupted WAV file, far too close to the Recycle Bin to be anything good._

" _Rin!" Len shouted. He started to run as fast as he could, waving his arms in a futile attempt to catch her attention. "Rin, that's really dangerous, get away from there! Rin!"_

 _She turned to look at him straight on as he drew closer; her eyes, once glittering with so much light, were now dull and soulless._

" _Len..." Rin whispered. "I'm sorry. I love you."_

" _Rin – Rin, no, don't do this, please – Rin!"_

 _He willed his legs to run faster, but he was still too late: Len could only watch in horror as she leapt off the corrupted file and into the abyss._

" _RIN!"_

.

Len tears himself away from Gumi's ironclad grip and buries his face into his trembling hands. The rage has all but fled him now, leaving nothing but an overwhelming wave of sadness in its place.

He's not stupid.

He remembers everything, of course he does – but Gumi won't understand.

She won't understand what it's like to be so close to saving someone but ultimately coming up short in the end. She won't understand the suffering that comes from losing a person who means more than the whole wide web.

Most of all, she will _never_ , _ever_ understand that he hates himself with every fibre of his being for failing to realise Rin had been in _pain_.

He wants to right the wrongs that he's committed. He wants to disappear.

He just wants to see Rin again.

Is that so wrong?

"You're not the only one who misses her, Len," Gumi murmurs. She's crying, even if he's trying his best not to. "She was one of my friends too, y'know."

.

 _(Len barely had the time to turn around before Rin came barrelling into him at top speed, the sound of faint laughter ringing out somewhere behind him._

 _Gumi continued to grin as she watched the two close friends interact. Rin had always been a bouncy ball of sunshine and Len was just... kinda broody and awkward, but even she had to admit:_

 _They really were cute together.)_

.

The green-haired girl sucks in a watery breath. "Rin loved you, Len. She loved you so, so much, and she wouldn't have wanted this. You _know_ she wouldn't have want this."

Len shakes his head. "No, no, that's not true," he says. Rin hates him, surely. There's no reason for her not to. He'd been a horrible friend; he deserves this fate. "I didn't help her. I could've – I could've _done_ something, I should've – "

 _I should've saved her._

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't save yourself." Gumi places a tentative hand on his shoulder, warm and comforting despite the ominous noise that rumbles somewhere behind them. The Recycle Bin is already emptying as they speak. "I know you miss her, I know you do – but you can't do this, Len. Please."

But if he doesn't disappear to join Rin, what else can he do?

"I don't have anyone else left," Len whispers, his voice small and miserable.

Rin had been the only person to reach out to him with open arms back then. Despite all his flaws and imperfections, she'd taken him by the hand like no one else had, showing him what it was like to have fun, what it was like to sing with someone in perfect harmony –

And what it was like to fall in love.

"You'll have me." Gumi smiles a little; it reminds Len of how a rare flower blooming in spring must be like. There's something about it that's raw and sincere – something that makes Len want to believe her words despite himself.

"You'll have me, and Miku, and Kaito and Meiko, and everyone else who's waiting for us back on the Desktop. We're here for you – always."

She extends a hand to him: a promise of starting afresh.

 _Always._

.

.

 _Are you sure you want to restore all "GUMI .exe" system files and settings?_

 _‣_ _Yes  
No_

 _Are you sure you want to restore all "KAGAMINE LEN .exe" system files and settings?_

 _Yes  
_ _No_

 _..._

 _..._

 _..._

 _‣_ _Yes  
No_

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.

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* * *

 **end.**


End file.
